Work and Ethics: How to Decline Gifts Without Being a Jerk

This time of year can be an ethical challenge for many professionals. It's fairly typical to exchange gifts with co-workers around the holidays, and even so with students in your classrooms. It's not uncommon to be gifted a nice hand-made frame, or a gift card to the local coffee shop from a devoted and caring family. However, that is not an option for behavioral professionals, whether you do home services, work in a school, or run your own clinic.

As a BCBA, I have to deal with the ethical dilemma of holiday gifts. Per our BACB Professional and Ethical Compliance Code, "Behavior analysts do not accept any gifts from or give any gifts to clients because this constitutes a multiple relationship" (1.06). This guideline is meant to prevent dual relationships. Because of our job in human services, and the very nature of our "helping" profession, many families want to show their appreciation of you by providing a token of gratitude. Often, these gifts are just that, tokens of appreciation and respect, and may not cause any issues. However, sometimes the exchanging of gifts can complicate the boundaries of the professional relationship you've established, thus the Board takes a hard stance on gifts in general. 

So, that's all well and good. But how do you deal with the inevitable situation when a parent, or worse, a child, hands you a gift. Are you supposed to shout "NO! ETHICS!", smash the gift on the ground, and run out of the house screaming? No. But here are some real things you can do to help with this very real issue, especially during the holiday season:

1. Employ some antecedent strategies

When you begin services of any kind, whether it's the start of the school year, at the intake for in-home sessions, or when you take on a new case at your clinic, you should inform the families of these guidelines. Consider having a statement in the intake packet, that they sign, that covers the topics of dual-relationships. In this statement include things like social media boundaries between families and therapists, attending events as guests (being invited to a family party as a friend or guest), and, of course, accepting gifts. Once a statement like this is signed and reviewed, you have an easy way to get out of these situations. Just point to this section of the contract if necessary!

2. More antecedent management

Before the holidays, make it a point to review this policy. As awkward as it may sound, it will be so helpful, especially for your behavior therapists. If you are their supervisor, you will be much better off preparing the families for this rather than trying to back track when your staff takes a gift because they felt awkward.  A quick reminder of these rules as you enter the holiday season, and you'll be much better off

3. Another antecedent management strategy

If you work for an agency, have the HR department (or the "head" of some kind) write an email to send out to all the families to inform them of the ethics code and that no gifts can be accepted. This will take the problem out of your hands (and an easy way to point the finger at someone else)

4. Teach an alternative behavior

If you are presented with a gift, remind them of your ethical obligations and offer an alternative - they can make a tax-deductible donation to charity or non-profit in your honor. Additionally, in that email your company sent as an antecedent strategy, you could offer the opportunity to provide positive feedback about the family's staff, that will be provided to the staff themselves. This is a thoughtful and impactful way for families to spread some meaningful holiday cheer.

5. Or try this visual prompt

A cute, cheeky, and slightly awkward card to tell families why you can't accept their generous gift. Best used for families with a sense of humor. Check it out here.

ABA at Play: ethical guidelines, visual supports, antecedent manipulations, environmental accommodations, prompting, response effort, differential reinforcement, priming, alternative behaviors

Have you ever had to deal with this issue? How do you handle it?