I'm not sure if you are aware of the severity of my naiveté, or should I say, gullibleness… but it's bad. Like really bad. I believe everything anyone says always. My brother-in-law even memorialized some stories of my gullibleness in our wedding speech. So needless to say, April Fools is my least favorite holiday ever.
Nearly every email I received that day was a tricky nightmare. I thought each headline, no matter how bizarre or unbelievable, was real life, and they often confused me.
Why would there ever be a Tough Mudder for babies?! That's stupid. Let me see how they would even do this…oh wait, god dammit!
Then, I went on trip for work, leaving that evening and leaving my traumatic memories of April Fool's Day behind. While I was away, I made checking only important, personal emails a priority and leaving all of the store mailing list or advertising emails for when I returned. This morning, I finished up those emails, usually just scrolling through to mark it as "read" until I saw an email from Tieks that caught my eye. I think it's best that you understand this story from my perspective….Check out the images below to imagine life in my shoes:
What? No…this can't be. Obviously it's a ploy to get people to click the link. They are obviously giving them toy bunnies, or bunny stickers or something. They would get in so much trouble if they gave live bunnies. Let me just check it out to make sure…
Oh my god… they are serious. This is pretty f-ed up… Let me see how they go about the logistics of this…
Oh weird. I didn't know you could ship an animal like that. Wait…my mailman whips my packages on my front porch like a major league pitcher. And what about the actual shipment in the aircraft? Poor bunnies.
Okay, that's it. I'm going to tweet about this like crazy, write a blog post devoted to boycotting Tieks and write a letter denouncing the company for life. This is horrible and irresponsible. I feel sick.
This is my life. Daily. But multiple times daily on April Fools Day. Thank god it's only once a year, or I'd most likely combust from stress and confusion.
And no. I'm not boycotting Tieks - in fact, after all was said and done and I realized it was fake, I was not only super happy , but I was relieved that the company I was ready to denounce publicly felt the same exact way about providing randoms with live animals. Live animals are NOT bonus prizes, or incentives for spending money on adorable flats. They are investments in a life.
Please for the love of god, do NOT buy your loved ones bunnies or chicks, or any live creatures for Easter (or any day for that matter) without a very serious conversation about responsibility and readiness to care of a live creature. They aren't toys or accessories. They are a life-form worthy of love, affection, and happiness, just like all of us.